[Musebox] - Honor Before Honors

[goodandtrue]

"This is the price that traitors pay," Jeyne's mother had told her shortly after the raven from the Twins arrived. It had been too horrific to contemplate, the news seeming like a nightmare, rather than reality. Yet her mother had found the means to drive the point home, to make it clear that Jeyne had not misheard and that Walder Frey had not lied.

Robb was dead, butchered at his uncle's wedding and savagely maimed. So the reports went, that is. Her mother had spared her the details, one of the few mercies she offered, as she would not cease her callous comments about the man that had been her good-soon. In her eyes, it was a means to an end and now she could have the marriage she always wanted for her daughter, but had been denied because of birth.

It had been arranged so quickly, Jeyne had little time to think beyond her grief. Around her the world moved, but in her heart there was nothing but the emptiness that Robb's death had left her. She was a specter, roaming the halls and waiting for her own demise. Her mother tried to cheer her, attempting to talk of weddings, but after being met with stony silence one too many times, she simply gave up.

Jeyne fought what little she could, no matter the passage of time or the years she suffered. She tore her gowns and struggled to keep her crown, the one Robb had made for her (yet failed to keep). Even on the day of her wedding (two years after Robb's death), she contemplated throwing herself from the cliffs of Casterly Rock. As though knowing this, her mother kept a sharp eye on her and practically dragged her to the sept.

Once it was all said and done (the bedding ceremony being the worst of all), she was settled in her new home and wed to some man that she didn't know or cared for. Martyn Lannister, a high marriage and one her mother had coveted for her. Yet it was nothing in Jeyne's eyes. She wasn't his wife, no matter how much he attempted to please her. She was Robb's and always would be.

Death changed nothing and did not free her from her vows.

It was only when Martyn received word to travel to King's Landing that Jeyne felt she could breathe again. Alone in her home, she could give way to her sorrow and sit by the sea, as she often did. Sometimes, she believed she could hear Robb or thought she saw him in the distance.

It was an illusion. Robb was dead and the gods were not kind enough to bring him back.

Comments

[kingofbadlifechoices]

“I believe you are wed to him. That does make him your husband.”

As painful as it is, as hurtful as the truth is. Martyn Lannister remains her husband. Would that mean she still thought of the man she used to be with? Would that mean he should feel flattered? Or feel hope to ever be with her again? He was no one. No king, no lord, nothing but a man who has been lucky enough to survive. All he has is his name and even his name doesn’t mean much anymore.

“If I were you I would ask him first. I do not think he would take it lightly if his kennel master goes and gives his dogs away to his lady wife.”

It is strange how convincing he sounds to his own ears as he speaks. As if he truly does not feel anything, as if hope has fled from him. Maybe he became a good liar over time.

“I will not do anything, my lady.” Robb raises his hands and shakes his head. He watches her and somewhere he hopes that it would mean that she would visit him again. That he would get to know her for a second time, maybe gain her friendship. It is all he can ask for because that is all he can offer her.

[goodandtrue]

"Words don't bind me to him, not in loyalty or regard. Whatever a Septon might say, he is not my husband."

Her husband was dead, waiting for her in the afterlife...if there was such a thing. So long as she had breath, she would remain true to him in thought and body. Death was a sweeter alternative than bedding Martyn or showing him the same respect and love she had given Robb. This wedding had not been her choice, she would at least keep something for herself, a piece of her no one else could touch.

"He won't harm you. He would have to have some measure of strength in him. He prefers to bow to the pressure of those who are more forceful than him." He had nothing, instead being a spineless craven.

She shook her head, "If you insist, then I shall tell him my intentions of having a pup for my own. He won't object, not when he wishes to earn my regard." Something he would never have.

i put a small time skip in it, i hope that's ok

[kingofbadlifechoices]

Robb gazes at her with dull eyes when she says that. Her words did not bring comfort at all. Nothing is more frustrating to know that the one you once loved still wants you in such a way.

“I would not dare to argue, my lady.” He raises his hands.

He crouches down again to pet one of the dogs.

“He is lord of this castle. I expect his men to do that,” he answers with a gruff voice. “Mayhaps you should start to believe in him. Take my advice, my lady, it is wrong to dwell on the past. Better look forward and choose what is best for you.”

That would mean to remain loyal to the man she wed. Not the corpse that was given a second chance.

“I will wait for his words.”

---

His chamber was dark and small. Not even a million candles could light it properly. Slowly he started to undo himself of his clothing, ignoring the dull ache in his joints and the stings coming from the scars on his body. He didn’t like to look at them, he didn’t like the memory.

When he was king the tub used to be big and warm. Now it was small and the water was everything but fresh. Still he moves to sit on his knees in front of it and starts to dip a cloth into it. And he thinks of her, of the wife he used to have, the one that still longed for him. It is cruel, truly cruel. In a way he had hoped to see her happy, shining brightly next to her new husband. It would have been soothing to see her move on while his world seemed to have ended.

After washing himself he moves to stand on his feet again, brushing some sand from his knees as he does.

Of course!

[goodandtrue]

Rather than trouble the servants whenever she wanted something, Jeyne had come into the habit of fetching it herself. As often as she was told this was her home now and that she was the lady of it, she refused the title as tempestuously as she had fought her mother for the crown Robb gave her. It was her small rebellion, one of the few that she openly exhibited, though she didn't doubt the entire castle knew that she refused to let her husband into her bed.

The trouble with seeking an apple or more candles in the night was that she often lost her way. She would turn a wrong corner or she would wander into the wrong room. It was little wonder that she barreled into Robb's room, expected the pantry but finding him instead, nude and beside a small tub. Her candle barely lit him, sparing them both a measure of modesty.

Jeyne turned to the side, averting her eyes elsewhere. "Forgive me. I didn't realize this chamber belonged to you. I think I wandered too far from the kitchens."

[kingofbadlifechoices]

When Robb hears her voice he jumps up immediately, shying away from the candle and the light it gives. He swallows thickly as he reaches out for anything that could be fabric to cover himself up.

Once again it strikes him how wrong it has been to come here. To think he could handle seeing her and pretend there has been nothing between them in a far away past. Gods be good, it was even more foolish than thinking he could be a king.

"Yes...you did..., my lady" he says while pulling a tunic over his naked body. "Quite far... What were you thinking?"

[goodandtrue]

She frowned, not expecting his reprimand. None of the other servants spoke to her as he did. The response so strange to her that she looked towards him, though his face remained in shadows. How much did she truly know of this man? She had brushed him aside, assuming that he was a loyal retainer of her husband's, but no more than that.

"What is your name?" She asked, taking a step into the room. He was at least dressed now and there was no risk of impropriety. Not that she cared overly much what Martyn may think.

"Do I know you?"

[kingofbadlifechoices]

His words had been too direct. He is not in a position to talk back to the lady of a castle. And even though that lady used to be his lady, that did not change much about what they were now.

"Robert..." It is not even a complete lie. His father called him Robb to please the late Robert Baratheon. "..., my lady."

Silently he hopes that she'd move away and leave him be, just believing the fact that he is Robert the kennelmaster. After that he realizes that he has been a fool to come here. He should leave as soon as possible. Maybe the next day. Who would miss a kennelmaster? Not many. And as long he kept his hair dyed and short no one would really mistake him for Robb Stark.

"You do. I take care of the dogs your lord husband owns."

[goodandtrue]

He's drawing back, enough that it is hard to ignore his nerves and the feeling of tension in the air. Why hadn't she recognized before how uneasy he seemed around her? She had simply assumed it was because she was the Lady of the Manor and spoke openly against her husband. Now...it seemed like something more.

"Robert?" She took another step closer to him. The name was painful, even if it wasn't the simpler version of her husband's name? "Robert what? Where do you come from?"

There was something about his voice as well. Though he spoke with a southron accent, there was something very affected about it. It didn't sound genuine, now that she was listening carefully.

She wasn't about to step away not, not when her suspicions were raised. "Come closer."

[kingofbadlifechoices]

The first thing he thinks of is that she should not ever know who he is. And the second thing he thinks of is still all about him being a fool for coming here. Even though he does not recognize himself anymore when he sees his reflection in the water, she might be able to. He had hoped she had been able to move on, to settle for her new husband instead of dwelling on the one she used to have.

“I do not remember my last name, my lady. I have no parents. They lost their lives in a raid and I was still a babe.”

He moves to sit on his bed and looks at her for a while, quite amazed by is ability to lie so easily. He can see the questioning expression on her face and, gods, he loves it when she is like that. So fierce and not taking any crap from anyone.

“I do not know where I come from. ” Robb shrugs but doesn’t smile. He barely smiles. “Why do you wish to know about such matters in the first place?” And no, he does not come closer. Of course, he can feel his heart ache for her, every nerve inside his body on edge. But he has always been good at hiding his feelings.

[goodandtrue]

He doesn't remember the name of his house, he has no past to speak of and he came from nowhere. Perhaps if there had been something, even a simple story to his past, she wouldn't be suspicious. However, if there was something that she had learned at the hands of her mother, it was now to let nothing go, no matter how small it seemed. What did she really know about this man who had not even been here when she first wed Martyn Lannister?

"How can you not remember?" He was lying. He claimed she didn't know him, but she knew he was lying. "Who are you really?"

He doesn't follow her command, instead sitting on the bed rather than approaching her. She doesn't let him slip away that easily. Instead, she sat beside him. She clasped his chin and turned his face towards her.

Those eyes. She knew those eyes.

She could feel her heart still in her chest, hope and fear rising in her in equal levels. Her mouth went dry as it seemed the very air was pulled from her lungs. "Robb?"

[kingofbadlifechoices]

He wishes she’d stop prying and asking. It would be so much easier for the both of them if she’d just stop that, if she could just settle with him as a kennel master and Martyn as a husband. Of course, he wasn’t a strong man but he seemed kind and most of the men around him claimed to be treated well. They could have wed her off to a Frey, for instance.

So when she sits down next to him he shifts a little.

“You should leave me be,” he rumbles with a frown on his face. But apparently those words fall to deaf ears, especially when she forces him to look at her by grabbing his chin and forcing him to turn his head towards hers. When she gazes at him he does not speak. All he can feel is how his heart pounds inside his chest. When he had learned that she lived after all that happened, he had decided he wanted to be close to her. Just watch and hope that she would be happy.

“Once...” he answers before he moves away from her. “I should not have come here...”

[goodandtrue]

There was no chance or desire to accept Martyn as her husband. He was a hated Lannister, a family that she had once admired but saw as less than pig filth. They had killed her innocence as surely as they had killed her husband. Or at least, she had believed they killed her husband. The more she stares into his blue eyes, the more real it became. This wasn't a dream or vision, it was Robb. A Robb that looked weather beaten and exhausted, his face haggard and pained.

He had been here for some time, shared a conversation with her and he tried to press her to accept Martyn as her husband. He tried to convince her to forget him. Before she could think better of it, Jeyne slaps him smartly across the cheek.

"You have been here all this time and you didn't tell me who you were!" There were tears in her eyes, swallowed down by her rage and shock. How in the Seven Hells was this possible? Robb would never deceive her or leave her to this misery. "You called him my husband! Husband? All this time and you tried to push me to accept him. How could you? I'm your wife Robb! Did you really think that I would accept another man into my heart and bed?"

[kingofbadlifechoices]

His cheek stings after she has slapped him and instead of sadness he feels anger instead. She is acting like some sort of mad woman, screaming and mentioning his name. When she is done he reaches out and presses a hand against her mouth.
“Gods be good, shut your mouth,” he hisses. “That you are furious with me is one thing, but to yell at me here is utterly stupid, Jeyne.”

Robb closes his eyes and mutters some curses before he lets go of her and frees her mouth.

“Do not raise your voice, I beg of you.”

[goodandtrue]

She stared at him with wide eyes, suddenly still as he pressed his hand against her mouth. She went quiet, all at once aware of how real this was. Until now, he hadn't touched her or spoken to her with the same fire he had once before. The feel of his warm palm over her lips made her tremble. There was fear coursing through her, fear and hope, something she hadn't had in a long while.

She feared trusting her eyes and his touch, to truly believe that he was here. Jeyne wrapped her hand around his wrist as his palm fell away. Her breath was harsh, painful in her chest as her heart beat wildly. "Robb. It's really you?"

There were tears staining her cheeks, catching her unawares. "How?"

[kingofbadlifechoices]

Robb doesn't answer her question and frees himself from her grip. Instead of that he just moves to sit back against the headboard of his bed and pulls his knees up. He cannot be Robb to her, he figures that it is too late for that. It is too late to smile or jape. Or be under some sort of impression that he is still a king.

"I am not easy to kill, I take..." he whispers with a shrug. Then he turns his head away from her and moves to gaze at some non-existent spot on the wall.

"It is good to see you. Yet, it pains me to see...that you still cling to me as if I still were your husband. It is not fair to lord Martyn and you know that very well." When he looks at her again there's no expression at all on his face. "He will not win any jousts and no bard will sing of his strength. But he treats you fairly, Jeyne."

[goodandtrue]

His words were enough to send her stumbling back, as though he had physically struck her. Jeyne's eyes were wide, a war waging between horror, dismay and disgust. "How can you say that?" Her voice was a barely audible whisper, unable to muster the same anger and ferocity she had shown before. The simple words 'as if I still were your husband' were a poison to her, enough that she expected to shrivel and pass into darkness.

She drew away from Robb as her arms tightened across her chest. "I am married already." It was the same protest she had given herself since the day the betrothal was announced to her. It didn't matter who the man was, she was still wed. Robb lived, despite what the world knew. Her protest was no longer feeble, it held some weight between them.

Only, Robb didn't seem to want her. He was content to let her go and to release her into the care of another man. It was enough to make her ill. She tore her eyes away from him. She couldn't stay and be faced with his rejection and dismissal. Turning on her heels, she darted into the hall, running with no clear destination in mind. She only knew she needed to run.

[kingofbadlifechoices]

Robb had no idea what he wanted from her now she found out. If she'd stay it would be dangerous, if she'd leave he'd be sad.
"I should not have come here..." he answers carefully. But he came after all, he came to see if she was all right now every one else has been dead. And he could not move. Not when she moved back. Not when she stood and run. It was as if he were glued to the spot.

And he did want her. To be fair, there is no other woman in all the realms he wanted more than Jeyne. But he is in no place to want, in no position to claim.

While she hurries off he pulls his knees up and gazes at the ceiling. He could be craven and run tonight. Would lord Martyn truly miss his kennelmaster? But then again, Robb Stark has never been craven. But then again, he could not stay and gaze at the woman that used to be his lady wife a long time ago. The world had changed and he needed to find a spot for his own. Maybe he should just go and travel to one of the free cities and settle there. No one would care about his past and no one would recognize him either.

Still, the next day he is still there, taking the hounds out for a walk, talking to some of the men, silently enjoying his meal in the back of the hall.

[goodandtrue]

He may have debated at what to do and whether he should go, but during the night, Jeyne made her own decisions. She and Martyn slept in separate chambers, one that she had left continually barred from him. As her candle dwindled away to nothing, she had gathered all she cared to keep and packed it in a small bag, stuffed then beneath her bed.

Martyn made a habit of hunting every morning, often not returning until later in the afternoon. Many of his friends and family members (lesser Lannisters) would be with him, leaving the keep empty, save for the servants. There was no better time for her to slip away.

When the last of his company passed through the gate, Jeyne tied her cloak about her shoulders and kept her hood lowered. She slipped down the back stairs and through the hall, emerging near the kennels and stables. Very few were in the courtyard, having retreated to the kitchens for something to eat and a bit of leisure time. There was no better time for her to flee than now.

It was only as she was quietly saddling her horse that she realized there was someone with her. Seeing him had been a revelation the night before, now it was nothing short of agonizing. He had pushed her away, he had made it clear he wanted her to move on. All it did was give her little reason to stay or little concern for her future.

Jeyne regarded him for a moment before returning to her task. "Are you going to tell them I'm leaving?"

[kingofbadlifechoices]

Robb had been busy chewing on a stale piece of bread when she entered to saddle her horse. He did not speak, having decided that all words were spoken already.

"I will not," he finally answers. "But I fear they won't show you any kindness when they find you." He figures Jeyne knows her surroundings but he wonders if she'd know where to go beyond that. "Do you know where you wish to go?"

[goodandtrue]

"I don't expect them to. It's little matter anyway, my life ended when Robb Stark's did." It was her mother's. She was living vicariously through Jeyne, marrying an old and powerful family, earning the standing that she had always wanted. She wasn't a simple merchant's daughter anymore, she was the daughter of Lady Lannister.

Very well, let her mother have what she wanted, but she would be damned if she'd let her bask in her victory. Let her mother feel what Jeyne did when Robb had been betrayed, even if it meant she would die when she was found. There was no other possibility. She would eventually be found, but at least she had a chance to taste freedom.

"Essos? Bravos? Somewhere across the Narrow Sea."

[kingofbadlifechoices]

Robb sighs softly when Jeyne tells him how her life ended with his. He is still alive but apparently she has accepted that that life has come to an end. Slowly he leans back against the wooden wall of the stable, eating his food slowly.

"Hmn...have you arranged a ship? If you wish to escape, I advice you to arrange such things first. It would not do to gallop to Lannisport and just randomly ask for a ship."

[goodandtrue]

"I am not going to Lannisport." She at least had some sense. It was where her mother would expect her to go, staying near the familiar and not wishing to wander into territory that were at odds with the Lannisters. No one would imagine that she would take the risk to travel alone to another kingdom. "I intend to go to the Reach and find a ship there."

It was far easier said than done, but she wasn't going to be deterred. With the last of the saddle fastened, she glanced up at the man that had once been her husband. How was it that they were behaving as though they were strangers. She loved him, even with that darkness in his eyes. No matter what he said or did, she would always want him.

"Come with me."

[kingofbadlifechoices]

When he opens his mouth again he whispers and for a moment there is a painful look in his eyes.

"I am not...the man you have known... That is why I hoped you would forget me. I think it is better that I am forgotten." Robb plucks at his bread but doesn't eat any further. "But I wished to see you...just once more. I had...dreams of you while my wounds were healing."

Still, the look on his face does not change.

"Could you truly love a corpse, Jeyne?"

[goodandtrue]

"I loved you even when I thought you were dead." Forgetting him was impossible. She had always assumed her marriage would be thus, arranged and planned without her consent. If she was lucky, it would be a man like Martyn, simple and respectful...at least on his end. But Robb came into her life and she knew love, love and passion. She didn't want anything else. It didn't matter how the war effected him or that he was no longer the same man she met. She wasn't the same either.

"You are not the only one to change. You think what happened on the Twins only harmed those that were there? I died alongside you." She became a woman she didn't recognize, hardened and cold. It was hard to say whether that would ever really change.

She looked towards the gate, still open and still unmanned. She wouldn't have long if she wanted to escape without notice. ""Please, Robb."

[kingofbadlifechoices]

Finally he extends his arms a little, showing his hands. His left misses one finger and a half and his right one misses a thumb.

"May I please..." his voice sounds awfully small. "...just....touch your hands..."

And time might be of the essence but he has finally mustered the courage to ask her. It would mean the world to him to be able to touch her again.