[ Her eyes are just drifting shut, half crossed as she gives up on finding a comfortable position. There is no such thing. Not when she's part of the misfortunate group who is expected to sleep on the floor like this. She curls into herself, careful not to agitate sore fingers and nails. Healing or not, having ripped a nail off, she can attest to the soreness which remains. ]
To this degree? I can't imagine any brother facing these circumstances.
[ She can't imagine Viserys abiding by such treatment. But Rhaegar? Maybe... ]
It's not. We'd had some time to recover following the last mission. It's our first time here.
[Every shift or effort to get comfortable makes her muscles scream. She had never felt pain like this before. Her entire body felt as if it were on fire, strained to exhaustion. She could barely return each message, but it had become a lifeline for her. Someone else that knew how difficult this was, someone from home that knew and understood her struggle. She might not know Daenerys personally in their world, but she needed her now.
Someone to tell her she could get through this.]
[No, not to this degree. He had to learn to use a sword and hunt, but no one made him smell death while he tried to eat.
[It had looked difficult once, but this was so much worse.]
Prepare us. They hadn't prepared us for Jerusalem and Paris.
[ The gunshots grow louder, and she twitches. What terrified her the most had been the masks they'd been expected to wear. To cover her face with such a thing, to know if she was too slow she would die... not the sort of thing one wishes to hear. The first drill with those wretched things she struggled due to her braids and half loosed hair. Ever since, she's worn it plaited no matter where she goes, as if at any moment, she expects to enter battle. Much like the pants beneath her skirts, so too does she assume a hairstyle for battle.
She thinks Drogo would have approved of it, had he lived. ]
I had to eat a horse heart, once. There were flies in the room, and it was bloody. [ Rhaego... she closes her eyes for a moment, and then her message resumes. ] It was nothing compared to the smells of all this. Not even the charred flesh of battle compares.
[She feels like she is going to die. She can't imagine waking up after this or even being able to move. All she can picture is passing out until she can't feel anything anymore. Just an endless nothing where this exhaustion and pain doesn't exist.
The room was so cold, to the point where she could feel it in her bones. There was still the smell of death in the room, but disappeared in the crisp air. It was dulled, small compared to everything else.]
A horse heart? How did you even manage to swallow that? [How did she manage to swallow her meal against that smell they filled the room with?] My home was under siege by Robb Stark's army. There was no time to take the bodies away of those who fell during the battle. After a few hours, it smelled like this.
It's the noise that frightens me. The noise from those guns they make us fire.
Our enemies? There were ways to avoid the battlefield for those inexperienced. In Jerusalem, I worked in a tent with the healers and snuck off with some of our allies at night. We burnt enemy camps whilst they slept. Our roles may be akin to that, if we've no opportunity for diplomacy.
[ Someone further down the hall groans, and it seems to set off a chain reaction of unhappy noises. She's never been so cold in her life. It seemed like no matter how hot her body ran, it would not suffice. Even Irriella seems uncomfortable, cradling herself against the back of Dany's neck, grooming the ends of her braid. ]
I had no choice. [ She would not be weak. ] I thought you said you married Robb Stark?
I know a little about healing. Do you think they will let us do something like that now? It seems they want to throw us into the actual battle. [If the fun training was an indication of anything.] That's so brave of you! Weren't you afraid of being caught?
[And here she was trying to remind herself that she was brave and strong for just enduring this. But saying it to yourself didn't mean nearly as much as hearing of something like what Daenerys did or actually doing something like that as well.]
I am. [Am, not was. She would always claim he was her husband, no matter if he was living or not.] Our marriage was after he seized my family's keep.
To prepare us, maybe, to defend ourselves. Not all of us are warriors meant to be on the front lines. [ She would be, but in her own way. ] I am the blood of the dragon, lady.
[ It helped that those she collaborated with were well versed in stealth. ]
I suppose so. Even healers are attacked and targeted during battle. But I never thought that training to defend myself would be this extreme. I don't know how much longer I can stomach these smells or this cold. [Even that simple statement from Daenerys was magical, evoking something from another time.] Dragons are never afraid?
[There was still a bloom of warmth and happiness that spread through her whenever thoughts of Robb came to her mind. It was always accompanied by pain, anger and sorrow, but that love was still there, as strong and fresh as before.]
Oh aye, very willing. I love him. But our marriage offended Walder Frey and some of the Northern Lords.
I do. I was being kept by the Lannisters when COST asked me to join. I was facing a life in seclusion for two years before being married off to a Lannister. I'd rather be here and face this than be stuck with my mother as a virtual prisoner.
[The same thing everyone feared.]
Life. Death.
He was, but I am the daughter of a Lannister bannerman and because of me, Robb broke his vow to the Freys. They didn't like this.
[ Death. It's fortunate that they are not together. She might not have witnessed Viserion's fall yet, but to know that he perishes...
She curls into herself, trying as best she can to block the nightmare of the Night King from mind. Viserion is alive in her time. Perhaps there would be a way to avoid his fall upon flying north. ]
I see. [ She heard what happened to him, and while he stood in opposition to her, in a way, she still regrets his fall--if for nothing more, than the pain it's caused so many during and after. ] Sometimes, men will disagree with their king or queen. They've a right to give voice to concerns. Still, what I've been told of what transpired is a terrible thing.
It was. When he died, the Lannisters took control of everything, even me.
[Perhaps it was what she had deserved? She had failed to see who her mother was or even suspect how far her ambitions would go. Jeyne had suspected something was wrong, but had done nothing. She many not have conspired, but she was just as guilty.
But rather than accept a punishment, she chose instead to escape them. It might be selfish, but she couldn't live in isolation or be stuck with her mother for that long. Anything was better than that.]
It was more than terrible. What they did went against everything. Walder Frey, Tywin Lannister [her mother] I hope they are punished.
For as gentle and soft as she was, she understood now what it was to want revenge.
[ There is a long silence, one where she debates what she says next. Tyrion and Varys were proficient in keeping up with events. Should she tell this girl of what transpired after the death of her husband? Was it her place to? ]
Both are dead in my time. One who now allies with me saw personally to the death of Tywin Lannister. The murderer of Walder Frey is not known to me, though.
[ Did it matter whether it was or wasn't? Secrets and betrayals. Even if she were to return to her time, Jeyne would likely have no impact on either of their deaths. And if she were in any way loyal to the Lannisters, she would never discover Tyrion's hand in his father's death. ]
[It might have meant more if she had heard it in person...or maybe it wouldn't? In hearing the news, it strikes her how hollow and empty she feels, almost as though it didn't phase her. Something like this should have been satisfying and soothed away her bitterness.
Instead, there was nothing. It didn't change the past, it didn't bring Robb back, and it didn't take away the sting of betrayal. There was simply...nothing, another turn on the wheel, more men rising and falling by their own designs. She had seen it a number of times before.]
How did Tywin Lannister die? Who was it who killed him?
[Walder Frey was nothing but a leech. The true threat had always been Tywin Lannister.]
[ Or two. Tyrion hadn't mentioned specifics of the number of bolts he'd shot... just that his sister wanted his head, and his father... well... It wasn't the most glorious of deaths.
That she asks gives Dany a moment's pause. It was common fact in her time, but what of Jeyne's? Would telling her somehow impact its occurrence? Had she already doomed her Hand by stating the method of death?
COST and these missions makes her wonder, sometimes, the ramifications of these things. ]
Have you oft wondered if you would be able to kill either of them yourself, if granted the opportunity?
The same way they killed my brother and my husband.
[So long as Walder Frey died by a knife in the heart or something worse. It may not make her feel anything or put her anger to rest, but it would at least be a sense of justice. For her mother, she couldn't say what could be done. Losing her daughter's love didn't seem to matter, losing her son didn't matter, what else was there?
She rubbed her eyes, trying to force back the tears that always seemed to rise to the surface when she thought about Robb and her brother.]
Sometimes. I thought about it when I was told what happened and when I couldn't sleep at night. I don't know if I am capable of killing anyone. I suppose we will find that out when training has finished.
The closest I came to violence was fighting off my mother when she stole the crown Robb had made for me.
[ It's so Tyrion, she'd nearly laughed the first time she'd heard of it. But it's a tragic thing, to have a child murder their parent ]
You won't know until the time comes. I don't believe you to be a girl who will relish murder, not like Cersei Lannister. When it comes to survival, however, I also do not see you as a kitten who will bare her stomach for the slaughter.
[ In some ways, she recalls all too clearly the days when her brother abused her. ]
Lady Tyrell once asked me if I was a sheep or a dragon. Your husband is a wolf, and that makes you one by extension. It's time to be a wolf, my lady.
[She doesn't know what to think of that. On the one hand, it was a humiliating end to a man that was the greatest power in Westeros for so long, greater than the king. She could feel even a small amount of pity for him for that.
But on the other, she couldn't forget who he was and what he had done. It was disappointing he hadn't suffered more, even if she felt terrible for wishing that on another.]
I don't know what I am capable of. I thought I knew myself and my family, but I don't. I feel so lost. I don't now what possessed me to think I could manage this training. I'm not a soldier, my brother was. But perhaps you are right? I chose war instead of being a prisoner.
[Dany's words mean a great deal and she cradles them close to her heart, repeating them to herself as a means to find her strength.]
You chose to take your future into your hands. If war is the result, so be it. Will you renege and return home, content with sitting locked away until they deem it time to sell you off like cattle?
Or will you fight for yourself, for the family you now have, and for the future you can still hope to change in some way after this?
[ Is this how she would rally the smallfolk loyal to a different house? She doesn't know. It's different, for Jeyne is Robb's sister, and Jon's sister by extension. These are the complications families create, and she finds herself... welcoming them. ]
You need no help from me, little wolf. That strength is inside you already.
Nevertheless, my aid is still yours if you wish it.
You are right. How could I call myself a queen or even a wife worthy of Robb if I am not willing to fight? Even if there is nothing for me to return home to, it is better than being forced to wait for whatever they decide to me, imprisoned and alone in my own home.
[It warmed her to hear Dany call herself Jeyne's family, even if indirectly. After losing her faith in her mother and uncle, she had felt alone and adrift in the world, without someone to ground her and offer her the most basic of comforts, just a feeling of being loved.
She wasn't alone here, even if this world was unfamiliar and harsh.]
You need no man to be worthy of something. Do it for yourself, first.
[ That's something she learned straight away, following Drogo's death. It had been pleasing Viserys, first... then what she'd done had shifted, with the aim to please her husband. Only when she focused on herself, did she find herself happier for it all. ]
You are different sort of woman from the rest, my lady.
[It didn't occur to her that wasn't the right form of address for Daenerys. Someday, she would need to find a way to reconcile with the idea of Dany being Queen while still clinging to her allegiance to Robb as her king.
But there was no denying what the words meant to her and how she hoped desperately that they would prove true.]
[He didn't want to wallow in guilt or self doubt, but it wasn't a simple feeling to shake off. Her mother clearly showed her how foolish and naive she could be. Somehow she had managed to miss her mother's involvement in Lord Tywin's duplicity or how she had clearly manipulated the situation to put Jeyne in Robb's bed.]
I fear trusting the wrong person again.
[Especially family.]
Was exile so terrible?
[It was a naive question, but it was meant genuinely and with a great deal of concern or how lonely Daenerys might have been.]
It's true only if you make it so. They may call us stupid girls, but the only stupid ones are those who underestimate us. Remember that.
[ She feels ridiculous saying these things, especially because she understands the importance of this. But there had been a time, once long ago, where she hadn't understood these intricacies. ]
If you fear that, then who will you place your trust into?
[ She doesn't answer as quickly as the other responses have been. ]
What's happened has happened, and I've become who I am because of those circumstances. That's more important.
I will try. [It might even be easier to believe, so long as she was away from her mother and uncle. There wouldn't be a constant reminder of her failings to anticipate this betrayal staring her in the face.] I can't imagine anyone fearing me as they might you though.
[She was not intimidating. It simply wasn't in her nature and she accepted that.]
I don't know. That is my question. I cannot even trust my family.
[ It's all she can say. Have faith, learn to grow. She'd been just as timid and skittish as a girl. But these are personal things. Experiences she's only just broached with another. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-07 09:36 pm (UTC)To this degree? I can't imagine any brother facing these circumstances.
[ She can't imagine Viserys abiding by such treatment. But Rhaegar? Maybe... ]
It's not. We'd had some time to recover following the last mission. It's our first time here.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-07 10:07 pm (UTC)Someone to tell her she could get through this.]
[No, not to this degree. He had to learn to use a sword and hunt, but no one made him smell death while he tried to eat.
[It had looked difficult once, but this was so much worse.]
Are they trying to break us?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-07 10:54 pm (UTC)[ The gunshots grow louder, and she twitches. What terrified her the most had been the masks they'd been expected to wear. To cover her face with such a thing, to know if she was too slow she would die... not the sort of thing one wishes to hear. The first drill with those wretched things she struggled due to her braids and half loosed hair. Ever since, she's worn it plaited no matter where she goes, as if at any moment, she expects to enter battle. Much like the pants beneath her skirts, so too does she assume a hairstyle for battle.
She thinks Drogo would have approved of it, had he lived. ]
I had to eat a horse heart, once. There were flies in the room, and it was bloody. [ Rhaego... she closes her eyes for a moment, and then her message resumes. ] It was nothing compared to the smells of all this. Not even the charred flesh of battle compares.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-07 11:19 pm (UTC)[She feels like she is going to die. She can't imagine waking up after this or even being able to move. All she can picture is passing out until she can't feel anything anymore. Just an endless nothing where this exhaustion and pain doesn't exist.
The room was so cold, to the point where she could feel it in her bones. There was still the smell of death in the room, but disappeared in the crisp air. It was dulled, small compared to everything else.]
A horse heart? How did you even manage to swallow that? [How did she manage to swallow her meal against that smell they filled the room with?] My home was under siege by Robb Stark's army. There was no time to take the bodies away of those who fell during the battle. After a few hours, it smelled like this.
It's the noise that frightens me. The noise from those guns they make us fire.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-07 11:36 pm (UTC)[ Someone further down the hall groans, and it seems to set off a chain reaction of unhappy noises. She's never been so cold in her life. It seemed like no matter how hot her body ran, it would not suffice. Even Irriella seems uncomfortable, cradling herself against the back of Dany's neck, grooming the ends of her braid. ]
I had no choice. [ She would not be weak. ] I thought you said you married Robb Stark?
Stay away from those guns if you can.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-10 12:28 am (UTC)[And here she was trying to remind herself that she was brave and strong for just enduring this. But saying it to yourself didn't mean nearly as much as hearing of something like what Daenerys did or actually doing something like that as well.]
I am. [Am, not was. She would always claim he was her husband, no matter if he was living or not.] Our marriage was after he seized my family's keep.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-11 12:12 am (UTC)[ It helped that those she collaborated with were well versed in stealth. ]
I see. It was a wiling marriage?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-12 07:24 pm (UTC)[There was still a bloom of warmth and happiness that spread through her whenever thoughts of Robb came to her mind. It was always accompanied by pain, anger and sorrow, but that love was still there, as strong and fresh as before.]
Oh aye, very willing. I love him. But our marriage offended Walder Frey and some of the Northern Lords.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-13 01:19 am (UTC)[ Were dragons afraid? She could not afford to be afraid, not in this. Fear would get her killed. ]
Fire is power, and dragons are fire made flesh. What do they have to fear?
The Northern Lords? But he was their king, was he not?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-13 01:44 am (UTC)[The same thing everyone feared.]
Life. Death.
He was, but I am the daughter of a Lannister bannerman and because of me, Robb broke his vow to the Freys. They didn't like this.
UGH i accidentally clicked out of this tab and lost my tag >8[
Date: 2018-01-14 08:06 pm (UTC)[ Death. It's fortunate that they are not together. She might not have witnessed Viserion's fall yet, but to know that he perishes...
She curls into herself, trying as best she can to block the nightmare of the Night King from mind. Viserion is alive in her time. Perhaps there would be a way to avoid his fall upon flying north. ]
I see. [ She heard what happened to him, and while he stood in opposition to her, in a way, she still regrets his fall--if for nothing more, than the pain it's caused so many during and after. ] Sometimes, men will disagree with their king or queen. They've a right to give voice to concerns. Still, what I've been told of what transpired is a terrible thing.
Better than accidentally refreshing when the reply is half written
Date: 2018-01-16 12:08 am (UTC)[Perhaps it was what she had deserved? She had failed to see who her mother was or even suspect how far her ambitions would go. Jeyne had suspected something was wrong, but had done nothing. She many not have conspired, but she was just as guilty.
But rather than accept a punishment, she chose instead to escape them. It might be selfish, but she couldn't live in isolation or be stuck with her mother for that long. Anything was better than that.]
It was more than terrible. What they did went against everything. Walder Frey, Tywin Lannister [her mother] I hope they are punished.
For as gentle and soft as she was, she understood now what it was to want revenge.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 12:40 am (UTC)Both are dead in my time. One who now allies with me saw personally to the death of Tywin Lannister. The murderer of Walder Frey is not known to me, though.
[ Did it matter whether it was or wasn't? Secrets and betrayals. Even if she were to return to her time, Jeyne would likely have no impact on either of their deaths. And if she were in any way loyal to the Lannisters, she would never discover Tyrion's hand in his father's death. ]
Take comfort in that fact, lady.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-26 09:50 pm (UTC)Instead, there was nothing. It didn't change the past, it didn't bring Robb back, and it didn't take away the sting of betrayal. There was simply...nothing, another turn on the wheel, more men rising and falling by their own designs. She had seen it a number of times before.]
How did Tywin Lannister die? Who was it who killed him?
[Walder Frey was nothing but a leech. The true threat had always been Tywin Lannister.]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-02-03 02:33 am (UTC)[ Or two. Tyrion hadn't mentioned specifics of the number of bolts he'd shot... just that his sister wanted his head, and his father... well... It wasn't the most glorious of deaths.
That she asks gives Dany a moment's pause. It was common fact in her time, but what of Jeyne's? Would telling her somehow impact its occurrence? Had she already doomed her Hand by stating the method of death?
COST and these missions makes her wonder, sometimes, the ramifications of these things. ]
Have you oft wondered if you would be able to kill either of them yourself, if granted the opportunity?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-02-05 07:44 am (UTC)[So long as Walder Frey died by a knife in the heart or something worse. It may not make her feel anything or put her anger to rest, but it would at least be a sense of justice. For her mother, she couldn't say what could be done. Losing her daughter's love didn't seem to matter, losing her son didn't matter, what else was there?
She rubbed her eyes, trying to force back the tears that always seemed to rise to the surface when she thought about Robb and her brother.]
Sometimes. I thought about it when I was told what happened and when I couldn't sleep at night. I don't know if I am capable of killing anyone. I suppose we will find that out when training has finished.
The closest I came to violence was fighting off my mother when she stole the crown Robb had made for me.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-02-10 11:49 pm (UTC)[ It's so Tyrion, she'd nearly laughed the first time she'd heard of it. But it's a tragic thing, to have a child murder their parent ]
You won't know until the time comes. I don't believe you to be a girl who will relish murder, not like Cersei Lannister. When it comes to survival, however, I also do not see you as a kitten who will bare her stomach for the slaughter.
[ In some ways, she recalls all too clearly the days when her brother abused her. ]
Lady Tyrell once asked me if I was a sheep or a dragon. Your husband is a wolf, and that makes you one by extension. It's time to be a wolf, my lady.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-02-14 09:04 am (UTC)But on the other, she couldn't forget who he was and what he had done. It was disappointing he hadn't suffered more, even if she felt terrible for wishing that on another.]
I don't know what I am capable of. I thought I knew myself and my family, but I don't. I feel so lost. I don't now what possessed me to think I could manage this training. I'm not a soldier, my brother was. But perhaps you are right? I chose war instead of being a prisoner.
[Dany's words mean a great deal and she cradles them close to her heart, repeating them to herself as a means to find her strength.]
Will you help me?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-02-18 10:19 pm (UTC)Or will you fight for yourself, for the family you now have, and for the future you can still hope to change in some way after this?
[ Is this how she would rally the smallfolk loyal to a different house? She doesn't know. It's different, for Jeyne is Robb's sister, and Jon's sister by extension. These are the complications families create, and she finds herself... welcoming them. ]
You need no help from me, little wolf. That strength is inside you already.
Nevertheless, my aid is still yours if you wish it.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-02-19 04:16 pm (UTC)[It warmed her to hear Dany call herself Jeyne's family, even if indirectly. After losing her faith in her mother and uncle, she had felt alone and adrift in the world, without someone to ground her and offer her the most basic of comforts, just a feeling of being loved.
She wasn't alone here, even if this world was unfamiliar and harsh.]
Do you really think I could be a wolf?
LMAO i called her robb's sister I MEANT WIFE UGH
Date: 2018-02-25 04:37 pm (UTC)[ That's something she learned straight away, following Drogo's death. It had been pleasing Viserys, first... then what she'd done had shifted, with the aim to please her husband. Only when she focused on herself, did she find herself happier for it all. ]
What stops you?
They aren't Targaryens!
Date: 2018-02-25 09:33 pm (UTC)[It didn't occur to her that wasn't the right form of address for Daenerys. Someday, she would need to find a way to reconcile with the idea of Dany being Queen while still clinging to her allegiance to Robb as her king.
But there was no denying what the words meant to her and how she hoped desperately that they would prove true.]
Myself, my fears and stupidity.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-02-26 01:24 am (UTC)[ If she finds offense to the mistaking of her title, she doesn't show it. ]
I've seen no proof of stupidity thus far, lady. Has someone told you of such a thing?
[ If so, she would see to it personally that the idea is banished. So many have assumed the role of belittling others. Missandei, slaves, even she. ]
What do you fear?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-02-26 11:53 pm (UTC)[He didn't want to wallow in guilt or self doubt, but it wasn't a simple feeling to shake off. Her mother clearly showed her how foolish and naive she could be. Somehow she had managed to miss her mother's involvement in Lord Tywin's duplicity or how she had clearly manipulated the situation to put Jeyne in Robb's bed.]
I fear trusting the wrong person again.
[Especially family.]
Was exile so terrible?
[It was a naive question, but it was meant genuinely and with a great deal of concern or how lonely Daenerys might have been.]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-03-01 12:46 am (UTC)[ She feels ridiculous saying these things, especially because she understands the importance of this. But there had been a time, once long ago, where she hadn't understood these intricacies. ]
If you fear that, then who will you place your trust into?
[ She doesn't answer as quickly as the other responses have been. ]
What's happened has happened, and I've become who I am because of those circumstances. That's more important.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-03-02 05:04 pm (UTC)[She was not intimidating. It simply wasn't in her nature and she accepted that.]
I don't know. That is my question. I cannot even trust my family.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-03-10 02:39 am (UTC)[ It's all she can say. Have faith, learn to grow. She'd been just as timid and skittish as a girl. But these are personal things. Experiences she's only just broached with another. ]
You don't trust your husband's family, lady?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-03-13 05:29 pm (UTC)Jon has been good to me, but I don't know him very well yet. I know better now to blindly put my trust in anyone. Even my own family.
Do you understand that feeling?